Forgiveness can be a delicate thing. In some situations, it flows freely: the heart and authenticity of the other person’s apology is evident and their sincerity moves us to extend grace. In other scenarios, it’s much harder to give, especially when the much-deserved apology never comes or the offender shows no sign of remorse.

Regardless of what the other person does or does not do, Jesus calls us to forgive everyone, every time. And many times, that has just as much to do with the protection of our own heart and spirit as it does with the mercy we’re called to extend to the other person.

Lysa TerKeurst expounded upon this idea in her devotional, Seeing Beautiful Again:

“When your heart has been shattered and reshaped into something that doesn’t quite feel normal inside your own chest yet, the word forgiveness feels a bit unrealistic to bring into the conversation.”

“It’s hard to give. It’s amazing to get. But when we receive forgiveness so freely from the Lord and refuse to give it, something heavy starts to form in our souls…Unforgivness is that heavy feeling in my soul because I didn’t let the forgiveness that flowed to me, flow through me.”

“So I want you to just sit here for a moment and consider the possibility around this double-edged word, forgiveness. Not because your pain doesn’t matter. Not because what they did was right. Not because it fixes everything. But because your heart is much too beautiful a place for unhealed pain. Your soul is much too deserving of freedom to stay stuck here.”

Just a reminder: Forgiveness doesn’t always have to end in reconciliation; protective and healthy boundaries can still be maintained even after you’ve chosen forgiveness in your heart.

This week, ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any unforgiveness you may be holding on to. Pray for the courage it takes to surrender your pain to the Lord and release any resentment you’ve been harboring in your spirit.  

Ephesians 4:32 – “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”